Dealing with fear
Ooh that big thing called FEAR, or as I prefer to term it…..Freeing Excellence Affects Reality
The thing is I get scared, in fact I felt that way today. I wanted to run away and hide but, instead I had to put my big girl panties on (of which I have plenty, Spanx or Sloggi being my favourite) and get over myself. Some of the things I get scared of include:
- I’m scared of not able to pull “this “off
- I’m scared of failing
- I’m scared of success (yep)
- Everyone’s better than me
Or how about this… does this sound like a little bit of like your mind monkey’s ?…..
- I’m scared of leaving my job
- I’m scared of telling people how much I charge
- I’m scared of telling my family that I want something more
- I’m scared of pushing myself out of my comfort zone
- I don’t know how to do this
- Everybody else is so competent and confident
So just in case you’re sitting there like a rabbit in the headlights, let’s have a look at what fear actually is and how we can change our view of it.
Fear is natural
It’s just natures way of protecting you from stepping out of your comfort zone, or into harms way. It is our inner caveman burrowing his way into the 21st century and instead of saber tooth tigers WE have cyber proof technology challenging us every day, opportunities for growth and change, to keep us on our toes. We have more choice and freedom than ever before and longevity that means we no longer have to put up with the status quo. But with greater choice comes greater challenges and the potential to make mistakes OR experience great joy and of course fear
Fear is an emotion
Fear is an emotion that is brought on by a threat. It isn’t just a response to an actual threat such as death but a perceived one which is what we are talking about here.
Fear hasn’t evolved
Fear in todays busy exciting world we live in is flawed and hasn’t evolved. Since most of us don’t have to face physical threats on a daily basis such as that Saber Tooth Tiger (I know I know, how did I know that is what you call Maureen from Accounts), yes it still stops us from recklessly jaywalking on the M1 8.15 on a Monday morning but it ALSO can stop you from taking chances no matter how incredible the outcome could be. Your fear will always kick in to say: “whoa hold your horses what do you think you’re doing? There are a million ways this could go wrong (as you’re contemplating setting up a micro brewery a life long dream) it is just not worth the risk…”
Fear is subjective
When we give into fear what we are failing to bring to the table is objectivity. Rather, we are reacting to an emotion (emotional reasoning) which actually distorts our reality, as objectivity hopped on his horse and ran out of town.
It sounds like Fear is a bad thing but it’s not, it is here to teach us how to survive and does a great job. But, and this is a big but, if it is not life threatening to you or anyone else then you need to really question the fear and bring objectivity back to the table.
It is important that we embrace our fears and push ourselves out of our own self imposed comfort zone, whether it’s writing that novel, learning to sail, moving to a foreign country, or starting that business.
Ask yourself this, what’s the worst that could happen? You could fail? So what, if you do then great, learn, pick yourself up and try again. Does it really sound that bad? Wouldn’t you rather have tried than not?
I wan’t to finish with a little quote that I love….
“Regret for things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable”
Sydney J Harris
Much love and mischief